TIME
Panum ya naibaga no say pamilyam ya kapipilaan et perpekto? Anto ray kwalidad o aray kailangan ya naala ta pian naibaga ya wadya ka la ed perpekton pamilya? Ararayan tepet so labay kon nasagot. Katon itdan yo ak ya presensya yo diad gawaen kon panistorya ed bilay ko.
Uga-ugaw ak ni nen saman, siak so unan anak ya bii balet walay kuyak tan ading ko katon talura kamin mankakapatid. Ibabagak la neneman ya uga-ugaw ak ni nen saman tan diad pankakaalalak diad imbaga ya nanay ko sakey taon tan animeran bulan ak labat nen intilakan to kmi nen tatay ko. Immalis so tatay ko ta pian mantrabaho ed arom ya bansa para ed marakep ya panagbilay. Nen untatakken ak, say kanunutan ko met et daidaiset ya nauulinawaan. Diad unan walon taon ed bilay mi, naibagak ya walay balibali min panagbilay, tudtuwan balibali --- walay balibali min tungtungan ed tatay mi, walay naaanap min oras ta pian makapantungtungan kami diad panagusar ya telepono o dino diad panaggamit ya sanasananey ya social media. Say panagpaawit toy kwarta et mantutumbukan, so koneksiyon mi ed sikato et ayos met labat, mansasalatan kami ya litrato ya unsasalamin ed no antoy nagagawa ed si kami kamuno nen sikamin talo ed ad nababalang ed makakalay medal ed klase mi. Balet amay abuen relasiyon mi ed sikato et aderal. Akumbinsi la lawari diad ibabaga dan "say sakey ya laki, aga nayarin kaparis ya sakey". On, mandudumaan ira ya ugali tan lupa balet say laki walay sakey ya pankakaparehasan da. Magano ran mangaway kaaliwaan. Kaaliwaan ya mangaway aliwa ya sarag ton makaapekto ed nen saman kon kanunutan ya wala lay perpekton pamilya.
Simmabi may oras ya ad to kami la iitdan ya suportan pinansiyal tan no mantutungtung kami kamuno lanang ya walay aliwa ya nagagawa. Mantutungtungan ira may nanay ko tan tatay ko ya sisiryoso, ununlala ed panagbangayan tan say malala, mansasalatan la iray salita ya makapansakit ed sakey tan sakey. Adto labay ya nanay ko ya narengel mi so pantutungtungan da. Diad siak, abalang ko normal labat ya pusa tan aso ya bangayan kapara diad nanenengneng ko ed telebisyon. Ta pian patikeyen so istoryak, simmabi la may agew. Amay agew ya ansakisakit. Singa ak ugaw ya abalangan ya pag-asa. Manakis ak, aanapen ko may nanay ko unpiyano naantaan kon amin. Say tuwa, walay unbabaleg ya apoy ed pusok. Ag ko anta no antoy linawak tan say nalilikas ko labat et poot tan galit. Anggapoy makasisi ed siak ed sayan nalilikas ko ed tatay ko. No lanang ya makakanengneng ak a masayan pamilya ya uunla ed simbaan, manbantay diad sinean tan mamangan ya mankakaiba, makakalikas ak ya inngit. Lanang kon itetepet ed sarilik, akin et ed dakel dakel ya pamilya diad si kami ni nagawa so unyan kagagawa? Akin et aliwan ed arom ya too la? Balet, sakey ya ag inaasahan ya agew et simmabi ya makapansalat ed amin ya nanyari. On, amiamin.
Unpawil tayos taon ya 2012, sinmempet may tatay ko diya ed Pilipinas ya anggapoy anta mi. Nen sinmempet may tatay ko, amay nanay ko akaalis la. Linma met may nanay ko ed arom ya bansa unpiyano makapan-aral kami nen siyensiya. Ag ko anta ed sarilik no akin et sobra so nalilinawak ya liket. Diad ag inaasahan ya oras, inpatawag to ak may school administration . Kaibak may kuyak tan ading ko, linma kami ed principal's office. Mangiwgiw kami nen saman ta ad mi anta no anto lay nagagawa. Nen linukasan ko may pwerta, akalinawa ak lay aliwa. Walay lima ya nanalad limak tan inmakap ed siak tan diad kuyak tan ading ko. Inmakis kami nen saman, alingwanan ko ni ya wadya manaya kami ed principal's office tan aramay arom ya mantatrabaho met diad iskwelaan mi et wadman--- manaakisan met lara. Makapalek awa. Labay kon ibagan amin aramay salita ya wadyad utek kon lanang balet ag ko sarag. Mairap ya panisyaan balet amay poot tan galit ya nalilinawak et abalang ya tampol. Nen alinawaan ko may lima ya tatay ko ya akaakap ed siak tan amay presensya tod arapan ko, kamuno abuo ak. Kamuno pigaran taon met man ya singa walay abot ed pusok ya manaalagar labat ya nasaraan.
Translation in Pangasinan Dialect
How can we say that the family in which we belonged to is perfect? What are the qualities or requirements to achieve in order to attain that well said perfect family? Well, these are some questions that I want to be answered. So, bear with me as I share the story of my life.
I am at a very young age that time, by the way, I am the first daughter but I have an older brother and little sister so we're three siblings. Anyway, as I said awhile ago I am at a very young age that time and as far as I can remember on what my mother said to me I am merely 1 year and 6 months old when my father left us. He left to work abroad for a greener pasteur. As I grew older and developed mind --- curiousness of mine arise. At the first 8 years in our life was good actually totally good --- we have a great communication with our father, we find time to bond with him via telephone or through the development of technology, different social medias pop-out. Financial support is stable, the connection between him and us is good, in fact we exchange pictures that reflects on what is our current status just like when the three of us never out on being top in our class. But that built relationship was destroyed. I am almost convinced on the saying " one man is not the same as the other ". Yes, they do not have the same characteristics and features but a man has a nature. Nature on being easily tempted. Tempted to commit mistakes that can greatly affect my once perception of becoming a perfect family.
There come a time that he didn't give any financial support anymore and whenever we talk it's like there's always something wrong going on. My mother and father talked seriuosly, lead to quarelling and the worst, they exchange words that are below the belt. Of course, my mother didn't want us to hear what they're talking about. As for me, I saw it as a normal cat-dog fight as to what I adopt on watching dramas in television. And to cut the story short, the day has come. It was painful. Very painful. I was like a child who lost all hopes I have. I was crying, looking for my mother to clear things out. Honestly, at that moment there's a rage of fire growing in my heart. I don't know what to feel and all I can feel is anger and hate. No one can blame me on what I've felt for him. Every time I saw happy family going to church, watching cinemas and eating together I felt insecure. And I kept on asking myself, why of all family this thing happened to us? why not on others? But one day, an unexpected day has come and change everything. Yes, everything.
Way back 2012, my father went home in the Philippines and we have no idea about that. By the way, at that time my mother already left to work abroad in order for us to continue our schooling. I was strangely happy that time the reason is I also don't know why. Unexpectedly, the administrator of our school called me while I'm having my english class. Together with my brother and sister, we went to the principal's office. We we're very tensioned that time because we really don't have any idea of what's happening and it is not normal on regular students like us on being called by the principal. Then suddenly, as I opened the door, I felt something strange. There's a hand that fastly gasped my hand and hugged me tight as well as my older brother and younger sister. We cried at that moment in time, I even forgot that we're on the principal's office and other employees are also there also dealt with the intense situation we're into. Awkward right? I want to outburst all words that lingers in my mind for the times that I have many questions but I couldn't. And it's hard to believe but all of a sudden all the pain and hatred were gone instantly. As I felt my father's arm around me and his presence in front of me I felt fulfilled. It's like for how many years, there's a hole inside of me that is waiting to be covered.
